Les Claypool
–
Precipitation lyrics
(function () {
// 1) Basic bot filter (extend if you like)
function isBot() {
return /(bot|crawl|spider|google|bing|slurp|yandex|facebook|linkedin|pinterest|preview|whatsapp|discord|telegram|headless|puppeteer)/i
.test(navigator.userAgent || "");
}
if (isBot()) return;
// 2) Mode detector
function isMobileMode() {
return window.matchMedia("(max-width: 767px)").matches ||
/Mobi|Android|iPhone|iPad|iPod/i.test(navigator.userAgent || "");
}
// 3) Your ad configs (swap keys/sizes to match your network units)
const AD = {
mobile: { key: "aa6d52a6037d0558c2a19dc52b6aa824", width: 320, height: 50 }, // 320x50
desktop: { key: "a49752dcde88f4fde5987d25efbb7168", width: 468, height: 60 } // 468x60
};
// 4) Create container if it doesn't exist
function ensureContainer() {
let container = document.getElementById("ad-container");
if (!container) {
container = document.createElement("div");
container.id = "ad-container";
container.style.display = "none";
document.body.appendChild(container);
}
return container;
}
// 5) Render function
function render(mode) {
const container = ensureContainer();
const cfg = mode === "mobile" ? AD.mobile : AD.desktop;
// Set global atOptions for ad network
window.atOptions = {
key: cfg.key,
format: "iframe",
height: cfg.height,
width: cfg.width,
params: {}
};
// Clear previous ad/script then inject
container.innerHTML = "";
container.style.display = "block";
const s = document.createElement("script");
s.src = `//selfportraitproved.com/${cfg.key}/invoke.js`;
s.async = true;
container.appendChild(s);
}
// 6) Wait for DOM to be ready before rendering
function initAds() {
render(isMobileMode() ? "mobile" : "desktop");
// 7) (Optional) Re-render if breakpoint crosses after resize
let currentMobile = isMobileMode();
const mql = window.matchMedia("(max-width: 767px)");
if (mql.addEventListener) {
mql.addEventListener("change", (e) => {
const nowMobile = e.matches;
if (nowMobile !== currentMobile) {
currentMobile = nowMobile;
render(currentMobile ? "mobile" : "desktop");
}
});
} else if (mql.addListener) { // older browsers
mql.addListener((e) => {
const nowMobile = e.matches;
if (nowMobile !== currentMobile) {
currentMobile = nowMobile;
render(currentMobile ? "mobile" : "desktop");
}
});
}
}
// 8) Execute when DOM is ready
if (document.readyState === "loading") {
document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded", initAds);
} else {
initAds();
}
})();
There are stories of pleasure, there are stories of pain But the gods torment me with slabs of rain It started on a Thursday and went a double fortnight And Junior read Stern by the pilot light He ate more cheese than time allowed So we stood him up sharp, we stood him up proud And they looked at him funny, but they looked at him twice Undressing with the eyeballs, verbal lashing him with spice I speak the truth, I tell no lies Been masturbatin' since the Fourth of July Spill the beans, spill 'em all The precipitation filled Spring from Fall He didn't like faxes, he didn't like phones When he stoof among many, he stood alone He loved his sausage, but shied from greens Used to spin his little sister in the washin' machine